I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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