And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just googled if crying burns calories
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
