Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
