new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize