im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
