Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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