I just saw a hot homeless man
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Let's paint friendship bongs
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The power of my boobs compel you
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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