This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
