peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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