why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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