I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
