My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
