i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
