i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Dick very happy bro
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
