it hurts more in the daytime
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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