ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
