I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
