it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
