so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize