im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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