and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
