onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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