check it out our google latitudes are spooning
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
