Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
