Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
