saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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