Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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