she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize