just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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