omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I need moral support for this bender
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
