Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
