I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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