Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
