So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
