About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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