He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I am mentally ready for anal.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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