love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
only you would photoshop your dick
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
