How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I supernannyed him into submission
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
