so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
The power of my boobs compel you
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
