I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
