they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
