it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
