Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
