Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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