someone threw a dead crab at me
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
