I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
