So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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