You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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