i think i have two assholes
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Enjoy the penises
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
