Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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