I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
