Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
