They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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