In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
