Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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