If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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