not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
