so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I enjoy the company of your penis
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
