new low.... made out with someone while peeing
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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