I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
