God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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