I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
