her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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