Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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