i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
