I want to have your abortion
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
