You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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