nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
