that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize