Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just threw up on my dentist
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
