I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize