Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
