official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
