I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
