Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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