I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
