Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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