yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
