Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
