dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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