Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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